I wouldn't call myself a pessimist, but I've learned to expect the worst when it comes to travel. Years of travel mishaps have not, however, deterred me and I always brace myself for an eventful journey that if nothing else, gives an edge to my travel yarns...

Luggage and a traveller are soon parted
After flying between various parts of the USA, we did our final leg on the Greyhound. On arrival in Atlanta (three hours later than planned) we were in a hurry to make our flight back home.

Then we discovered that our luggage was stranded somewhere in the deep South this side of Memphis. Not quite understanding our consternation, Greyhound staff assured us that it would arrive in a matter of hours — hours we didn’t have. We returned to SA with no clothes, no photos and no Christmas gifts. After 19 trans-Atlantic phone-calls, 21 days and three false alarms, we were reunited with our luggage — which had taken the scenic route home via New York, London and Frankfurt!

Ticket to nowhere
After a memorable trip to Hungary and Switzerland we were due to leave Zurich to return home to Johannesburg. It was at this time that Swissair decided to call it quits and stop flying... to anywhere. As a result, a number of South Africans became airport-dwellers as they waited for the next flight — any flight — home... so much for Swiss efficiency!

After days of 'now we're flying, now we’re not' hundreds of temporarily homeless South Africans — over-ripe cheese and cuckoo-clocks in tow — let out a collective cheer as good old SAA came to get us.

Narcoleptic Russian taxi drivers
Some may think the prevailing Russian reluctance to speak English could be an impediment to communicating with a Muscovite taxi driver. Similarly, sleep deprivation can be seen as an impediment to arriving at your destination alive, as we discovered when our taxi driver repeatedly fell asleep at the wheel on what should have been a calm journey to Moscow airport.

Our driver stole several cat-naps and narrowly missed oncoming traffic at high-speed for most of the journey, then promptly collapsed on the steering wheel in what by then must have been REM sleep as traffic paused at a rail crossing. When we recovered from our terror sufficiently to shake him awake, the only English he could muster by way of explanation was an enlightening, "I’m sleepy."

Dress to impress
My husband recently traveled to Saudi Arabia to present a course to a group of business people. He had been filled in on all the cultural considerations which would contribute to making a good impression and he was eager to do just that.

Unfortunately, the airline had other ideas and his luggage mysteriously went astray between Dubai and Riyadh. This left him with just one option for attire on the first day of the course. While the class was immaculately dressed in the white robes of devout Muslims, he arrived to present the course in the heavy-metal motif t-shirt and jeans he had travelled in.

Train steals shopping
Hubby and I always have fun stocking up on groceries when we arrive in a new country. Our introductory shopping trip firstly ensures that we have the necessary provisions, but also gives us a snapshot of local life and foods.

One such trip to a Budapest supermarket involved getting the best deal for our meagre Florins and was taken very seriously. We spent more than an hour acquiring our three bags of groceries. When a train arrived to take us back to our apartment, my husband put his arm between the train doors to keep them open so we could climb on. However before we stepped on the doors closed and the trained pulled away at speed… with our three precious bags hanging where the doors had sealed, never to be seen again.

Have no visa, won’t travel
To secure a visa for Australia you need to provide full details of your travel itinerary. At the same time, you are "encouraged" not to make travel arrangements until your visa has been granted.

This twist of logic, combined with an unaccountable staff complement at the powers-that-be in Pretoria almost meant we were doomed before we even left for our travels 'Down Under'. Things finally fell into place, but our local introduction to the inflexibility and adherence to "the rules" did a lot to prepare us for our stay in Australia, and certainly made us appreciate the spontaneity and organised chaos of Africa.

Are you a jinxed traveller forever stuck in airports and negotiating foreign hospitals? Send us your travel trauma stories here…