ABOUT THE WRITER
Herman Lategan is a freelance lifestyle journalist based in Cape Town and has worked fulltime as a features writer for glossy magazines such as House and Leisure and Style. Since going solo a few years ago he has contributed to a wide range of local and international publications such as the Mail & Guardian, Sunday Independent, Men's Health, Vogue Entertaining + Travel (Australia), Time Out (London), and many more. He has a passion for big cities and travelling and has been to places as diverse as Sydney, Manila, Hong Kong, Lagos, Maputo, Washington DC, Brighton and most recently some hot spots in Germany. Read his story, fasten your seatbelts and enjoy some armchair travelling.

Everything you've heard about German precision is true. From the moment I arrived in Frankfurt, it struck me — the clean floors sparkled like a well-scrubbed plate and looked as if you could lick the last remains of your knackwurst and knödels off them.

The immigration official was stereotypically stern but friendly, with not one hair out of place. Service was predictably fast and efficient and within minutes I was coasting along the shiny surfaces to collect my luggage. Is this the county that produced that guttural, psychotic-looking and frenetic Mother of Punk, Nina Hagen? I wondered...

I was visiting Germany on a whistle-stop tour to experience the contrast offered by two historic rural hamlets, Mainz and Wiesbaden vs. the urbane city of Munich. In addition, I came with own narrow-minded baggage about Germans. In my mind I envisaged a bland landscape with grumpy people running the place like a military camp.

Mainz

First stop was Mainz, which is situated right in the centre of Germany, near Frankfurt. It’s the capital city of the Rhineland-Palatinate. If this means nothing to you without a map, don’t worry. I also didn’t know where I was until I spotted that familiar signature landmark of Germany, the Rhine River. It somehow anchored me and offered a (mild) sense of direction.

Situated next to the Rhine and Main Rivers, Mainz is steeped in history. More than 2000 years ago it was the capital of the Roman province of Germania. But Mainz is probably best known for Johannes Gutenberg, who single-handedly launched a printing revolution when, in 1455, he developed a moveable printing press in a small workshop.

Mansions and Museums

The press in the Gutenberg Museum is a replica, but the Gutenberg Bible is real enough: one of only forty-odd surviving examples in the world, and priceless. It might sound boring, but it’s not, because the tour guides tell the story with such flair and drama that you’re gripped by a topic that could easily make you yawn.

The village’s splendid baroque palaces and mansions also attract visitors as well as the Old Town with its winding alleys and little streets. Early in the morning the red sandstone St. Martin’s cathedral, the Dom, is surrounded by a spacious market, crowded with merchant stalls straining under fresh products from nearby farms.

Beware of photographing these traders with their bright and colourful crops without asking, as a fierce-looking Fräulein first scolded and then laughingly chased me into a hidden sidestreet.

But because of this, I made a charming discovery. Behind the cathedral there are several boisterous wine pubs (and coffee shops for teetotallers). Occupying 18th century half-timbered houses, these spots are ideal settings for tasting the mineralised, spicy Rieslings from the Rheinhessen and Rheingau regions, or enjoying their über coffee. German coffee and confectioneries are world-class and served with gusto.

Another attraction in the historic quarters is the Gothic St. Stephan’s church, on the top of the Stephansberg hill. Here the artist Marc Chagall produced nine glass windows with scenes from the Old Testament. (Currently there’s an exhibition of Chagall at the SA Jewish Museum in Cape Town till the beginning of August.)

Mainz has over 200 000 inhabitants and has been a university city for 500 years. The streets are packed with sexy students and a huge population of energetic, well-preserved older people (often cycling). What impressed me about the rest of my tour through this country were the many active, older people, fully integrated into society. They were visible and proud.

I also spotted women (of a certain age) with big hairdos, the size of beehives, all over the place. These little idiosyncrasies add to this place's charm.

Visiting Wiesbaden

After Mainz I left for Wiesbaden, just a short drive past rolling vineyards, cornfields and other farms. A quirky and unexpected German sense of the absurd was perfectly illustrated in the many scarecrows that I noticed flashing by in these rustic landscapes. They were surreal-looking, huge Catholic icons or statues...of Christ. Yes indeed, Christ as a scarecrow! What an aha erlebnis (moment).

Wiesbaden, a former world spa and the capital of the State of Hessen, is a wealthy town with many bankers from Frankfurt (one of world’s largest banking cities) residing here. They prefer it because it has a bit of both worlds: Old World charm with modern conveniences. It’s also not as hectic as the big city, yet close enough (to Frankfurt).

A magazine city

The opulence is conspicuous: shiny new cars (and taxis) around every corner (Mercedes Benz, Audi, BMW), casinos, huge houses and shopping districts each the size of a mini-village. The whole place looks as if it’s leaping off the pages of a glossy magazine.

I remember walking down endless malls jam-packed with shops for every taste. None of the items in most places had a price attached. It’s considered infra dig to ask or to look.

In the theatre district, away from the brash consumerism, I discovered a tiny unassuming coffee shop called Kuckucksnest (see end of the story for details). The night was cold, the coffee warm and inside the place was filled with loud people having passionate discussions.

A waltz was playing in the background and at the table next to me two elderly queens got up and started dancing with each other. Wiesbaden felt like a welcoming place with no hang-ups.

Some of my personal highlights included a visit to the Russian Church with its five golden domes that were built between 1847 and 1855 as a sepulchre for the mortal remains of the wife of Duke Adolf, Grand Duchess Elizabeth Michailovna from St. Petersburg and her baby. Both died after the infant’s birth. The interior of the church is lavishly decorated in marble.

Magical Munich

My final destination was Munich, capital of Bavaria, and spitting distance to Austria, Italy and Switzerland. It’s Germany’s third largest city, the richest city in Europe’s richest country and the home of BMW and Siemens.

FIVE THINGS TO SEE IN MUNICH
  • Visit the Marienplatz in Munich for free window-shopping and people spotting.
  • See an opera. You’ll be mad not to.
  • Get nude in Munich’s English Garden, which is 5km long and the city’s favourite summer nudist spot.
  • Outside Munich, on a tiny island in Lake Chiemsee, is the last of Louis II’s architectural dreams: Herrenchiemsee Castle, which they began to build 1878.
  • Go abstract and see an exhibition of the abstract painter Kadinsky’s work at Lenbachhaus, 33 nr Königsplatz.
    • Let it suffice to say that it ain’t an ersatz theme park like Disney World or Las Vegas, but a real shrine to beauty and stunning architecture. Munich is a visual feast and The Guardian once wrote: "The city has all the trappings of a major metropolis with its vast palaces, grand municipal buildings and monumental statues of classical warriors striking Wagnerian poses." Indeed.

    The city’s contradictions astounded me. Who would have thought that the super sophisticated German’s serve mouth-watering pub grub? A visit to the Hoffbrauhaus (Am Platzl 9) is sine qua non.

    Oompha bands play loudly while about 4000 people eat their way through huge helpings of schlachtplatter (slaughter plate). The waitresses smoke (one can smoke in most restaurants in Germany), have pigtails and look like friendly caricatures of grandmothers. They’ve probably worked there for many decades and...it shows.

    Once, while waiting for the red man to turn green at a traffic light (nobody jaywalks, not even at 3am), I spotted a poster of someone I though had disappeared off the face of the earth. Of all people, Nana Mouskouri (Cu-cu-rru-cu-cu Paloma) was performing in the city, staring through her big black framed glasses from the billboards onto Munich.

    But it’s not only a city for nostalgia and old sad songsters. It’s also a city where the hot pop star Robbie Williams was performing at the same time; a city of opera, art, fashion, food, design and finance.

    And as Nana’s song goes – when the Day is Done, I realised that there was far too much to fit into a whistle-stop tour such as this, and that I’ll have to return. Without my baggage (of prejudice), of course.

    Travel to Germany

    Getting there
    Lufthansa offers a daily flight from Cape Town via Johannesburg directly to Frankfurt. Additionally, the airline offers seasonal flights five times a week between Johannesburg and Munich. For further information contact: 0861 84 25 38 or visit www.lufthansa.co.za

    Where to stay

  • Hyatt Regency Mainz
    Malakoff-Terrasse 1, Tel: 06131 73 12 34
    A chic, ultra-modern hotel on the banks of the river Rhine and walking distance to the city centre and Old Town.
  • Platzl Hotel Munich
    Sparkassenstrasse 10,
    Tel: 089 23 70 30, www.platzl.de
    Warm-hearted traditional Bavarian hospitality right near the centre of the historic part of town.

    Where to eat and drink

  • KäferS
    Kurhausplatz 1, Wiesbaden, Tel: 0611 53 62 00.
    Upmarket but affordable eatery, next to the casino, with a wide selection of German (and continental) dishes.
  • Kuckucksnest
    Wilhelmstrasse 52 a-d, Wiesbaden, Tel: 0611 52 80 500.
    Intimate coffee shop and bar in the theatre district, with tasty cakes and cocktails galore.
  • Zur Linde
    Insel-Hotel, Fraueninsel im Chiemsee Obb, Tel: 08054 90 366.
    Situated in an old-fashioned hotel on the Chiemsee islands, just outside Munich. Hearty and tasty local fair on offer.
  • WeiBes Bräuhaus
    Tal 7, Munich, Tel: 089 29 98 75
    Real pub grub, with a boisterous crowd.
  • Ratskeller
    Marienplatz 8, Munich, Tel: 089 21 99 89 0.
    A huge dungeon-like venue with an extensive menu.
  • Andechser am Dom
    Weinstr 7a, Munich, Tel: 089 29 84 8.
    Photos of Gary Player adorn the wall. Near shopping district.
  • Bar Centrale
    LederstarBe, Munich, Tel: 089 22 37 62.
    Sexy snacks, hip crowds, the finest coffee.

    General information

  • Telephone area code (from South Africa): 0949
  • Time Difference: + 1 hour.
  • Flight time from Cape Town to Frankfurt: 13H 45.
  • One Euro = approximately R9 (at time of publication).

    What to read

  • Let’s Go 2003: Germany (Let’s Go), R271. Exclusive Books (Countrywide).

    Vital Websites

  • http://www.germany-tourism.de/
  • www.munich-tours.de
  • www.info-mainz.de
  • www.wiesbaden.de