Now I'm not talking about just finding a room that has a bigger plasma screen, a free mini-bar or ever more expensive smellies in the bathroom. What you want is accommodation that oozes character, a place where if the walls could talk they'd regale you with stories about the shenanigans that have occurred in their hallowed halls.

Thankfully, with a bit of searching and an obedient credit card, the Grand Old Ladies of South Africa are just waiting to sit you down and tell you a few tall tales...

The Mount Nelson Hotel
The striking pink Mount Nelson is without doubt the Grand Dame of the Grand Old Ladies. Since first throwing open its doors in 1899, South Africa's most famous hotel has hosted everyone from Winston Churchill to Charlize Theron in its luxurious rooms, nine-acre gardens and peaceful setting at the top of the famous palm-lined driveway.

This old lady isn't one to be happy with chiffon prints and a rocking chair, though. A new lick of paint and a major refurbishment means that the 201 individually furnished rooms across six wings will appeal to both young and old. The hotel's afternoon high tea is legendary, and the Cape Colony restaurant under the deft touch of executive chef Ian Mancais is one of the city's top fine dining establishments.

The über-trendy Planet Champagne Bar draws the city's sexy young things to party the night away alongside the likes of Paris Hilton, Robbie Williams and Michael Bublé. After a late night the brand new Librisa Spa offers a range of facial and body treatments that'll keep any lady — young or old — looking her best. www.mountnelson.co.za

The Marine Hotel
Judging by the sleek design and ever-changing style of The Marine Hotel in Hermanus, this lady is always one step ahead of the latest trends, making it one of the jewels in the Liz McGrath Collection crown.

Perched on the cliffs above Walker Bay, which is likely to be filled with whales from August to October, the 43 luxurious rooms and suites boast spectacular views across the bay to make The Marine the ultimate seaside escape. The world-famous clifftop path is right on the hotel's doorstep if you're in the mood for a whale-watching stroll, or take a short drive to the Hemel-en-Aarde valley for a tasting of South Africa's top pinot noir and chardonnay. www.marine-hermanus.co.za

Umngazi River Bungalows
It doesn't take much to conjure up a fantastic seaside holiday: long white beaches, comfortable accommodation, good food and lots to do, as well as the choice of doing absolutely nothing.

The family hotels of the Wild Coast may not be as grand as some of the city slickers, but for close on a century the seaside hotels on this rugged stretch of coastline have offered a welcome bolthole for stressed-out city slickers. Heading east from East London you'll pass Morgan Bay Hotel, Trennerys Hotel and The Coffee Bay Hotel, but if you're coming from up north, the Umngazi River Bungalows are your best bet.

This resort traces its history back to 1929, when it was just a small trading post with a few bungalows out back, but nowadays guests can look forward to comfortable cottages and entertainment ranging from fishing excursions to sunset cruises.

Apart from three mouth-watering meals per day, the Saturday night seafood feast is the stuff of legend, spoken about in whispered tones amongst Umngazi visitors. After all that indulgence, the spa on the Umngazi hillside will take care of those (belly)aches and pains. www.umngazi.co.za

Hout Bay Manor
Even older than The Nellie, but perhaps less flamboyant, is Hout Bay Manor, just a short drive away along the Atlantic seaboard.

Built in 1871 on the Kronendal Estate, it was originally known as the Royal Hotel and was popular as a romantic getaway for honeymooners. Back then Hout Bay was just a simple fishing village, but visitors and honeymooners today will find fabulous restaurants, a wide range of activities, and one of the most beautiful bays South Africa has to offer.

The Manor recently underwent a major refurb, and this old lady hasn't looked so good in years! A playful combination of African chic, colonial splendour and modern touches make this one of the best-kept boutique hotel secrets in the Cape. Paper sculptures peer down hallways where jars of liquorice allsorts are yours for the taking, and colonial objets d'art hide in corners.

In the rooms you can look forward to four-poster beds, free-standing baths and decorative chandeliers infused with a hefty dose of Afro style. The hotel restaurant, Pure, is well worth a visit for that special occasion. www.houtbaymanor.co.za

The Lord Milner Hotel
In the same year that The Mount Nelson welcomed guests, another grand hotel in slightly different surroundings was polishing the silverware for its first patrons.

A 250-kilometre drive from Cape Town to the heart of the Karoo, the Lord Milner Hotel in the tiny village of Matjiesfontein has let herself slip a little, but still retains a rustic yester-year charm. There's not much to keep you in your room during the day, but with the entire village declared a national historic monument there's lots to see.

The Transport Museum is worth a visit, as is the Marie Rawdon Museum on the station platform, where trains still pull through twice a day. The Laird's Arms pub will keep you busy until the London Routemaster bus kicks off its slightly surreal evening tour of the town.

At night guests make their way along creaky hallways and down the grand wooden staircase to the formal Victorian-style dining room for traditional Karoo lamb with all the trimmings.

It's not SA's most glamorous lodgings, but to enjoy an echo of a grand old Karoo hotel the Lord Milner is hard to beat, and makes the perfect stop between Joburg and Cape Town. www.matjiesfontein.com

The Royal Hotel
The guest book at The Royal Hotel on Durban's beachfront reads like a who's who of the last 200 years: Cecil John Rhodes, HG Wells, Marlene Dietrich, Mark Twain, Prince Alfred, Queen Elizabeth II, Margaret Thatcher, FW de Klerk, Mangosuthu Buthelezi and Nelson Mandela. Not bad for a hotel that started life in the 1840s as a thatched wooden building providing a bed for sailors seeking safe harbour in the booming port city!

Since those early days the hotel's fortunes have waxed and waned with the city's, but revamps in the last few years have seen the 251 rooms restored to their former glory, with a healthy dash of warm African sophistication thrown in.

Feeling peckish? The Royal Hotel offers six restaurants and a choice of three chic bars, but if you want to impress your date the pick of the bunch is The Top of The Royal, which boasts spectacular bay views, www.theroyal.co.za